An Average Joe in San Antonio

After playing volleyball, you can work up a pretty good appetite; this is why my team and I always go snag some food after the big game.  I suggested Martha’s after last game because of the fact that I saw an advertisement for $1.00 margaritas during happy hour if the temperature was over 100 degrees!  Now, I realize that it was well after happy hour, but hey, a catchy advertisement still gets me thinking about the place!

This is some great advertising during the summer heat!

Apparently, this Wednesday night was a biker night at Martha’s – there were tons of motorcycles, leather, a dj spinning some tunes, and a chip/salsa/queso bar set up outside!  One of the guys on my team brought some chips and salsa to the table and they were inhaled.  The salsa was incredible fresh made primarily of tomato and some peppers.  I went back to refill and noticed that there was also some free queso!  I gave my friend some grief, because it is common sense to NEVER turn down free queso!!!!  Not only that, but the queso was really really good; had just the right amount of spice in it.

Now Martha’s is a clever restaurant.  You see, they have some really good combination specials, and the #1 automatically comes with guacamole on the side; the other combinations are appealing, but they do not come with guacamole.  Having seen the guacamole listed first you are like, “Man, I want some guacamole,” but you would have to pay an extra buck to get it added thus blowing the cost of the combo out the water!  I didn’t want the #1, but I did want guacamole so I looked all over the menu for a platter that had it on the side.  I ended up going with the Taco Salad.

Have you ever heard the Budweiser “Real Men of Genius” commercial about the Taco Salad Guy?  Well there have never been truer words spoken with regards to Martha’s taco salad – they pile all sorts of goodness in it including cheese, sour cream, guacamole, rice, chicken tomato and lettuce; I even took mine over to the spot on the patio and loaded it up with queso (this is an excellent touch and I would advise you to do the same).  The shell was really flakey and held its crispiness throughout the entire meal.  I was stuffed after eating only half of it!

Here's to you, Mr. Taco Salad inventor guy!

In spite of the patio being packed, our waitress was extremely proficient; she was pretty good at getting all our drinks out to us in a timely fashion and also interacted with the table both in dishing out and receiving a bunch of cracks/jokes/grief.  We accidentally let her know we wanted a split ticket at the very end, and again in spite of the large amount of people there, she was able to accommodate us without issue.

So while the heat has been brutal here in San Antonio, there is a place where you can relish in it, be nice and full, and even have a shot at a dollar margarita!

Value: 8.5/10 (there are some good patio specials, especially during happy hour but some of the entrees are a little high when they aren’t on special)
Atmosphere: 9.5/10 (loved the patio, especially during a biker night!)
Service: 10/10 (waitress was incredibly prompt and nice ESPECIALLY considering how packed the patio was)
Salsa: 7/10 (I liked the fresh salsa, but it was not one of my favorites in town)
Taste: 8.5/10 (overall pretty good flavor and will make you full!)
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Do you truly like to have a burger your way?  And by your way, I mean not only with just the lettuce, onion, tomatoes, mustard, mayo, and ketchup?  What if you wanted some grilled seranos? Or capers? Or artichoke hearts?  You would think you would need a place that was part burger joint and part supermarket, but you would be wrong.  What you really would need is Order Up.

Order Up is a popular restaurant near my place of employment and the menu is remarkably simple: Pizza, Burger, Taco, Soup, and Salad.  What makes it amazing is the level of customization that the consumer has over each of those items with an assortment of cheeses, vegetables, fruits, and sauces.

They have a terrific soup and salad combo, but this time I decided to opt for a hamburger.  When I go to Order Up, my goal is to make the most ridiculous hamburger that I can possibly create.  I don’t know why, I guess it is because I view the hamburger as my canvas, the options as my paint, and myself as the artist.  With so many possibilities, I feel like I cannot just create an ordinary burger but a masterpiece.

This time I opted to create a hamburger with lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, mayo, pepper jack cheese, grilled onions, grilled seranos, grilled mushrooms, and grilled pineapple.  The heat of the pepper really mixed nicely with the sweet of the pineapple.  The other thing that I like is that the meat is always good from Order Up; it is never overly greasy, but the little amount of grease that it does have gives the burger a nice flavor.

That is a highly customizable burger!

Lastly, be sure to park either in front or behind the main façade of the restaurant.  If you park in the lot on the side of it, you will be harangued by a female security guard, who will aggressively tell you that if you leave you car there you will be towed.  Just a thought.

Value: 8/10 (the base models (pizza and hamburgers) are reasonable, but it can get pricey adding on all the different toppings)
Atmosphere: 9/10 (I am amazed at how good I feel upon entering the restaurant; it has a lot of windows and the atmosphere feels as fresh as the food)
Service: 8/10 (friendly folks behind the register)
Taste: 9/10 (I enjoy the fresh taste of all the food)

Location is at I-10 and Wurzbach in the Colonnade

Chacho’s is more than a restaurant, it is an institution.  Actually, thinking about it, it is more than an institution, it is a revolution of cheese, salsa, fajita meat, and margaritas.

Some people say, “You know, one type of salsa is good enough for me.” Chacho’s comes around and says, “Well then I’m about to blow your mind with like 8 or more.”

Some people might be like, “You know, I just like a little bit of cheese on my Mexican food.”  Chacho’s comes around and is like, “Please.  A little bit of cheese?  I am about the grade the entire block on your nachos and then give you a bowl of queso to further dowse your chips.”

Some people are like, “You know, Dixie cup margaritas are perfectly ok.” Chacho’s says, “Take this wristband, get a designated driver, and try several of our large margaritas that are half the cost but pack twice the punch.”

Chacho’s may not be for those in the haute couture crowd, but what do those people know about flavor.  I mean, really, you are going to try to eat a pile of chips, beans, and cheese in a dress that looks like a swawn?  No.  Chacho’s may be low brow food, but that type of food is what makes me full and happy.

There are two things that you need to order when you go to Chacho’s.  First is the Margarita.  I have affectionately called it the “best terrible margarita in San Antone!”  I think that this is due to the fact that (1) it is a frozen margarita (I prefer mine on the rocks), (2) they use table salt to rim the glasses instead of the margarita salt, (3) it is ridiculously overpowering with not high quality tequila, and (4) is more like a 7-11 slurpee than a margarita.  In other words, it has every quality that I typically don’t like in margaritas, but for some reason I LOVE the Chacho’s margarita; two will definitely get you crazy!  Before you go, it is helpful to understand that when ordering margaritas, each person who is drinking has to physically go up to the register (this is tricky maneuvering where there are tons of people), present an ID, get a wristband, and pick up their drink.  There is a strict one drink per wristband policy.

The food item that you must order is the King Kong Nachos.  If you are in a group of 3 or less (or 4 if you are mildly hungry) order the half order of King Kong Nachos.  If you are in a group of 4 – 7, go ahead and order the full order.  The beautiful thing about the King Kong Nachos is the fact that the half order costs around $10-$12 bucks and the full order is like $20-$22 (I don’t remember the exact prices, see the margarita section for the reason why).  When you request the full order of King Kong Nachos, the cashier will most likely give you a dubious glance and a “Really?” if it appears that you are by yourself.

The best part about ordering the King Kong Nachos is getting to carry them to wherever you are sitting.  I like to play a game where you sit the furthest possible seat away from the counter, and as you carry the King Kong Nachos back to your seat you count the number of “Oh my goodness!” that you see people mouth.  It is great.

Truth in advertising -- Chacho's King Kong Nachos (half order)

The Kind Kong Nachos are divided into quarters and have one part fajita beef, one part chicken, one part ground beef, and then one part spicy beef.  You have to learn how to master the “rotation” – when one person ties of their segment, the entire platter of nachos is rotated to give them a new assortment of meats and cheese.  You also have to be able to handle the fact that you are eating spots of nachos where other people have picked on.  After mastering both of those things, you are in for a delicious decadent treat piled high with cheese.

So grab a group of friends, a designated driver, and a big appetite and head to Chacho’s for some good food and a lot of fun!

Value: 10/10 (a half order of King Kong Nachos and two big margaritas are like $10/person)
Atmosphere: 9/10 (lots of fun; there are often bands playing music and I think that Thursday is karaoke night; there is always a crowd)
Service: 8/10 (considering the amount of tables and the messiness of the food they are on top of really bussing the tables; the line can take a while, but this is mainly to people going up to get their drink)
Salsa: 10/10 (there are a plethora of salsas both hot and mild; I like the avocado one)
Taste: 9/10 (after you get below the mound of cheese, you will find some  tasty meat)
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Who doesn’t love restaurants in old/historic parts of the city?  Who also doesn’t love a place that buys directly from local growers and uses those ingredients in the meals that they prepare?  This is why I had to try Texas Farm to Table located in the redeveloped Pearl Brewery site.

The look and feel of the restaurant seems to exude this cool as a cucumber vibe.  I am always amazed at how developers can take something that was run down less than 2 years ago and transform it into be something chic and desirable; they hit on it perfectly in the Pearl redevelopment.

One thing that I noticed as my friend and I walked into the restaurant was how smart all the people dressed, in particular the women.  I almost got a little of the Alamo Heights vibe at this restaurant, and don’t imagine that it will be long before that part of town gets gentrified completely and has a new identity.  My buddy I was eating with made a terrific insight: “This restaurant has that funky feel that if it were located in Austin you would really get a lot of the indie/hipster crowd; however, it is located in San Antonio and you get the more pretentious feel.”  Once you are there you will know what he is talking about.

The place is pretty expensive (I think that a signature sandwich can run you upwards of $11), and I imagine that it is that way to afford the rent that a newly developed hot spot demands.  It has the look, feel, location, and taste (more on this later) to warrant that price, but there is one thing that they lack and had better fix soon if they want to stay in business – service.

The service is TERRIBLE, and by terrible, I don’t mean the least bit good.  Funny how the only people not dressed and lacking zero personality are the ones behind the counter and delivering the food.  After waiting in a long line I had the enjoyment of being greeted by a kid with a fedora who obviously didn’t want to be there.  He mumbled some sort of greeting, and my friend couldn’t understand a word he said and asked him to repeat everything.  This guy looked as though I was bothering him with my presence.

I ordered a half of New Braunfels Smoked Ham sandwich with a cup of chicken curry soup; my friend had another half sandwich/soup combo.  It rang up at $8.60 with a drink, and I will give them props for having the Imperial Sugar Dublin Dr. Pepper.  It took 31 minutes (no joke, I looked at the time on my receipt versus the time that we got the food) to get our food; I mean, for crying out loud, it was a sandwich with a cup of soup.  I didn’t know they had to actually grow the food on the farm from the moment we ordered it…

It took 31 minutes to make this. Really. Yes. Seriously.

Not only that, but they brought my friend out the Chicken Curry soup instead of the Tomato Basil.  When informing the person bringing out the food, he first didn’t believe that a mistake was made and after examining the receipt, mumbled something that he couldn’t change it out and we would have to go back inside to get it corrected.  They also screwed up on giving my friend cheddar cheese instead of Swiss; I mean, it is not like they didn’t have 30 plus minutes to get it right…

I will say this: the food is excellent.  The sandwich had a great flavor, though was pretty pitiful on the amount of meat; all the vegetables had an abundance of flavor, in particular the tomato.  The soup also was exceptional.  I wish I had more to say, but the service just really soured my taste buds, plus I don’t think I had the time to really enjoy it as I had to scarf it down in less than 5 minutes to get to the next place I had to go.

Value: 6/10 ($11 for a “signature sandwich” is a lot; the half soup/half sandwich combo at $5.80 is decent, but you will wait so long for it you will wish you had ordered a full portion of each!)
Atmosphere: 9/10 (very cool and trendy; a lot of put together people dine here)
Service: 1.5/10 (abysmal; they will go under if they don’t fix this)
Taste: 8/10 (good tasting food; just wish I had more time to enjoy it…)
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Recently I had a coworker move on to bigger and better things; she had left several weeks ago, but was in town to finalize some of the moving items.  A group of us decided to go to one of her favorite restaurants, Druthers, to say farewell.  Would it be a good stop, or would it be more like “Druther go somewhere else?”

I looked at the menu and one of their hot sandwiches caught my eye, but when I tried to order it on the cup of soup/half sandwich combo the lady told me I couldn’t do that.  No big deal as I opted for the Texas BLT along with tomato bisque soup (cost of the special was $6.99).

The restaurant has a nice feel to it, but guys beware, there is like this cheap jewelry store that is set up alongside one of the walls; think along the lines of what you see being sold at the Wash Tub.  I am always amazed how women not only look at this junk, but also opt to actually purchase it!  This prompted a conversation as to what would be the “guy equivalent” amongst the group.  We couldn’t come up with anything; thoughts?

The sandwich was very good with nice bread and crispy bacon.  What made it a Texas BLT was the fact that there was also a layer of crushed avocado; this is a nice additional and something I am going to repeat when making my sandwiches at home.  I have to hand it to them on the tomato bisque soup – while it was a little too sweet for me, they definitely were pushing the boundaries of the soup and trying something new.  I can respect it, even if it isn’t something along my taste buds.  To top it off, they give each person a little home baked cookie with the meal.

I was thinking that this was a pretty good sandwich, and noticed that another coworker got a full sandwich and soup.  I was interested in how much more it cost for the full sandwich so I would know for next time.  When I asked him, he told me the SAME amount that I paid!  Turns out the cup of soup/half sandwich combo is not all that great of a deal!  After examining the menu closer, it turns out that there are only a few items where you only save a buck; on the rest it is exactly the same!  To add insult to injury, another coworker showed up late, and after relaying the story to him, he got the same tomato bisque soup and Texas BLT sandwich that I did at the same cost, with the exception that he got both halves!  This is something that you definitely need to go, and something that I feel the cashier should have alerted me about.

This is the half Texas BLT sandwhich/soup combo; be sure to add the other half at no extra charge!

At any rate, it is a good place; I am just going to make sure I order better next time…

Value: 5/10 (if you order the soup/half sandwich combo)
8/10 (if you order the soup/full sandwich for the same cost as the soup/half sandwich)
Atmosphere: 8/10 (they have outdoor seating which would be nice in cooler weather; dinging them on the tacky jewelry they are selling)
Service: 8/10 (very friendly, but should have let me know that I wasn’t getting a good deal)
Taste: 9/10 (tasty sandwich and respect what they were trying with the soup)
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